I’ve realized that I’m not good with putting my emotions into words. I’m usually the confidant and give verbal therapy, but when it comes to face to face encounters, I become frustrated with myself because I’m not able to express how I feel in a way for others to understand. I wish I was able to be more dependent of others when it comes to expressing how I feel not only because it hurts me, but because it hurts the people I care about.
1. What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someones eyes when they are telling you how they feel? It’s really difficult for me to tell someone how I feel in general, so it’d be a lot more difficult for me to actually make eye-contact when telling them how I feel.
2. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? I was probably mad at Marc for something. I don’t really remember, though.
3. You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago non-stop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? I don’t understand how I’d be able to talk on the phone if I’m on an airplane, anyways, but honestly, I’d probably call Marc. I’m not saying he’s not more important than my family or friends, he’d just be the first person that would come to mind.
4. You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid? I probably wouldn’t tell anyone, other than my family and ask them to keep it a secret. They deserve to know in advanced. I would spend the rest of my days being happy because I don’t want everyone to be mourning me before I’m even gone.
5. You can have one of the following two things. Which do you choose? Why? Love and Trust. Love. It may sound silly to choose love over something really important, but trust can be earned over time, it may take a while, but it can be earned. Love can’t be forced and doesn’t come over time because feelings are acquired and can’t be controlled.
6. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dogs life? Why or Why not? If there was someone around me, I’d ask them to help because I really need to get to work, but I probably would save the dog because it may be someone’s missing best friend. I’d call in at work and take it to the vet. I could easily say that a family emergency came up.
7. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? I’d rather be hurt by someone I love than someone I trust because it’s a lot easier to forgive someone who you understand and care for if they’re willing to give an explanation rather than someone you trusted that betrayed you.
8. Your best friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more than just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you (or did you) do/say? Hahahahaha, omg. “I’m sorry, but I’m in love with someone else already, I have been for a really long time and I know things are going to stay that way.”
9. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or Why not? Honestly, no I wouldn’t. I love him a lot, but it was hard enough for the family to get over his sickness and his death that it’d be cruel to have him come back for an hour.
10. Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? HAHAHAHA, sure. I mean, in the way of having someone care about you and try to help you through your problems, then yes, but I’m pretty anti-going out so I probably wouldn’t hang out with myself much. 11. Does love = sex? No, it does not, but you shouldn’t have sex with someone you aren’t deeply in love with, in my opinion. Sex is a physical act, love is a very strong emotion that takes over the way you act, the things you want to do, and your overall outlook on life because of the way you feel for a certain person. Sex is easy to get nowadays, but love is hard because people want the fairy tale ending to come easily, but ignore the part where they invest time and effort into a relationship they choose to commit to when things go bad.
12.Your boss tells your coworker that they have to let them go because of work shortage, and they are the newest employee. You have been there much longer. Your coworker has a family to support and no other means of income. Do you go to your boss and offer to leave the company? Why or Why not? No, I would not. I probably worked my ass off to get that job, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t help, I’d ask if there was a way to compromise, like asking everyone if they’d be willing to take off a few dollars in their salary to keep the person in, since there’s no other way for them to receive income, or I’d help them find a job.
13.When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? I don’t know, haha. Probably something to Marc, though.
14. What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a member of the opposite sex, you love them or that you do not love them back? It was harder for me to tell someone that I no longer have feelings for them.
15. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? WELL, I already was forced to give up my dream school due to money, but I guess it would be really hard for me to give up on Marc because we love each other a lot and are both putting a lot of effort into making it work. That and my family, cause well, they’re family.
16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? Honestly, I’m not the type of person who throws the word “love” around. At all. I never say it first to anyone unless I really really mean it. I haven’t even said it to my best friend of four years. Haha. I think I said that I loved my mom when she said it to me first, though.
17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why? I wish I brought my yearbook around more. XD
18.Imagine it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you? That’s actually really creepy and I’d think that it was someone trying to kill me, but I’d wish Marc was with me. Haha.
19. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not? I mean, sure, I could since I’m CPR certified and what-not, but what if they don’t have anything to live for because they have already lost everything? I don’t think I would because I don’t have the number of the local police station and I know they wouldn’t get to me on time anyways if they were already dying.
21.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision? Either way, I would be a murderer, though. It was hard enough for me to lose one grandmother already, but losing a newborn could traumatize their parents forever. I’d talk to my lola about it and I know she’d rather die than have a newborn killed and I’d just talk to her until I can’t hold on anymore.
22. Are you old fashioned? In the sense of me prioritizing things that others my age don’t anymore, yes.
23. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it? I never expect anything for the nice things I do, or else it wouldn’t be doing something nice for someone, it would be expecting someone to repay you for your acts.
24.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why? True love with a guarantee of heartbreak. It hurts a lot, but it would help me grow as a person and it doesn’t mean that you won’t be able to love again after that heart is broken.
25.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be? I wish the United States had enough money so that my friends and I would be able to go to the schools that we got into, since money is the reason why we can’t.
“I’ve memorized all the fish in the sea. I’ve memorized each opportunity strangled and I remember awakening one morning and finding everything smeared with the color of forgotten love. And I’ve memorized that, too”—Charles Bukowski (via thecoolofnight)
“When our eyes met, I felt that I was growing pale. A curious sensation of terror came over me. I knew that I had come face to face with some one whose mere personality was so fascinating that, if I allowed it to do so, it would absorb my whole nature, my whole soul, my very art itself.”—Oscar Wilde (via itscandidlycara)
So, in the wake of reading this terrifying shit, Postcard and I started chatting, as you do, about the zombie apocalypse. Here are some things Postcard and I enjoy: zombie media, common sense, and YELLING ABOUT STUFF. Thus, for your reading pleasure, please enjoy our simple twenty-step guide to NOT DYING in the unlikely event that a zombie apocalypse ravages humanity:
IN THE EVENT OF AN ACTUAL APOCALYPTIC SITUATION, ASSUME THAT THE FOLLOWING THINGS ARE GOING TO STOP WORKING: running water (this includes toilets); anything that relies on electricity (this includes gas pumps); anything that relies on natural gas lines (this includes gas stoves/central heat); basically, anything that relies on there being a factory of some variety at the other end of thing you want to make do stuff. THAT’S ALL GONNA BREAK. THIS INCLUDES THE INTERNET. Thus, the most important thing to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse is:
RESEARCH. For as long as you possess the internet, do everything you can to learn as much as possible. Research edible/medicinal plants (or seriously, go into a bookstore and loot your shit a guidebook, they’re not large, they sell little tiny ones, you can put it in your pocket, WHY DOES EVERYONE IN EVERY ZOMBIE MOVIE NOT DO THIS). Research, from available information, how the zombies work/which of their senses are functional—for example, if they operate largely by smell, you want to work on smelling not alive. If they operate largely by sight, DON’T LIGHT FIRES AT NIGHT. And speaking of fires…
are you bothered that your boy messed around with a whore before he met you?
Well, I don’t think I was bothered by the fact that she is “a whore,” but more by the fact that he “messed around” with someone in general, but we talked about it and he didn’t even know she was “a whore” until the end when she decided that she wanted a legit relationship. It bothered me for a really long time because I realized he would be many of my firsts, but I wouldn’t be his. He told me that he regrets it a lot and well, we’ve been together for nine months. I got over it. He’s been over it since before we met. We both accepted each others’ past. He loves me a lot and she means nothing to him. He told me the nature of their time together and how she would initiate things to “give him experience.” Either way, he’s mine, mentally and emotionally and it’s staying that way. Now I’d appreciate it if you stopped prying into my personal life. Hahaha. Thanks.
I envy those who are able to be selfish. I wish I was able to put my needs before the needs of others, whether I’m close to them or just acquaintances. It may have something to do with my inability to say no when asked to do something, or maybe I just care too much because I have the strange idea that if I don’t care, maybe nobody else will. I was blessed with the curse of a conscience. I can’t do something I know will hurt someone else without feeling guilty about it, but that does not make me a people pleaser. The opinions others have of me are nothing compared to the opinion I have of myself. I just wish I could start doing things for myself without feeling bad about it.